Having taught in a junior college (JC) for 16 years and spending half that time as the Education and Career Guidance (ECG) coordinator, I have had countless conversations with graduating students on higher education and career options.
What struck me about such talks were the anxiety and stress that students faced having to make a choice on their next steps. Many of them believed the endpoint of JC is to figure out the one right path for their future, and that the decision they make now will affect them for the rest of their lives.
And often, inspirational maxims fuel the distress. Find your passion. Do what you love, and you do not have a work a single day in your life. But what if the student did not have a singular passion, or their interests did not precisely map to a course or career?
In these cases, how can they decide where to go or what to do? Here are three ideas I find to be helpful for parents and teachers to keep in mind when speaking to young people who are at the higher-ed crossroads:
1. Look in first, then look out
Most students I spoke with try to determine their path by collecting information. They think about their parents’ expectations, talk to their friends, take personality tests, read a flood of information ranging from official websites to informal forums. And the more they analyse, the more they feel paralysed. Psychologist Barry Schwartz called this the paradox of choice – while having some choice is good, having too many options tends to make choosing one more difficult and leads to less satisfaction with the final decision.
In a situation of info-overload, the maxim “know thyself” is useful. Before considering what’s out there, students can start by first “looking in”. A lot happens in the short two years at JC that can shed light on their preferences. What subjects interest them or put them off? Do they do well in large lecture settings or in small groups? Is learning easier when watching videos or discussing ideas? What is it about their CCA that they enjoy? What type of CCA work excites them or drains their energy?
When students embark on a self-searching conversation, I try to serve as a mirror to them. This means reflecting back some observations you made about them – it could be about their strengths, their interests, what they tend to spend time on, what they find meaningful. This helps them see themselves, and what is suitable (or not) for them, more clearly. With this knowledge, they will be able to consider their options with a sharper lens.
2. Share stories – not advice
Over the years, I found that students loved hearing stories of those who were once in their shoes. Share what you or the people you know have studied, what jobs you did, how you made decisions, and the thoughts you had. Often, students tell me that such stories guided them in their own decision-making.
One of the most popular ECG events we organise are career conversations with young alumni, where we invite speakers from various industries to talk about their education journey and jobs. These sessions generate a lot of deep reflection for the students, who ask a litany of probing questions: “If you could choose again, would you have taken a scholarship?”, “How did you decide if the course was right for you?”, “What’s the most meaningful part of your job?”, “Why do you stay in your job when it’s so stressful?”
Most times, the speakers will also muse that they are still learning in their careers. This greatly reassures the students – while they have to make their own decisions soon, they know that those who came before them continue to be a “work in progress”.
3. Be curious and excited
It is all right to not know the answer. Sometimes, how adults can help is just to listen with curiosity and express excitement when students talk about their future. Ask questions about the things they hope to do, and assure them that there are many paths to explore and experiment.
A student I taught six years ago recently got in touch to update me on his life. He was then a Humanities student, but currently majors in computer programming. He reminded me of a conversation we had towards the end of his graduating year. “I was quite lost because everyone I know was planning to read Law. I remembered sharing with you some vague ideas I was thinking about,” he said.
I had no memory of this conversation, and asked if he could recall what I said. He could – and in surprising detail. He said I expressed excitement at his ideas, shared with him about former students who were in those courses, and assured him that whatever he chose he would turn out fine.
He then told me, “I’ve grown to believe that things tend to work out okay after all, and I’m really grateful you tried to share that with me, even if I didn’t quite get it then!”
What we can offer to young people making ECG decisions
In this day and age, there is no shortage of accessible information on available courses and careers, and advice on how one should make their choices. As concerned adults, I understand how tempting it is to offer solutions when we see a young person in distress over an important decision. However, I feel it is more beneficial to guide them to uncover what they want. After all, they are at the cusp of adulthood and would need to start making and owning their decisions.
And more often than not, I found the 19- or 20-year-old I am speaking to already has a sense of what they want to do. As adults who have known them for some time – whether as teachers or family members – our most valuable contribution would be a listening ear and our unique perspectives based on our understanding of them.
Photo courtesy of: Dr He Jia Wen
