At MOE Kindergarten @ Dazhong (MK@Dazhong), the mirror by the door is more than a fixture. As children arrive each morning, they are encouraged to pause, look at their reflection, and note how they are feeling before entering.
If a child frowns, early childhood educator Amily Ng, who has spent 8 years at MK, would ask gently: “I notice you are frowning — is everything okay?”
This routine helps preschool children build emotional vocabulary and supports their social and emotional development (SED). Important SED skills include self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management and responsible decision-making.
These are reflected in the Ministry of Education’s (MOE) Nurturing Early Learners (NEL) Framework, that guides educators working with children from 4 to 6 years old in preschools. In practice, these competencies shape how children learn, interact, and make sense of their daily experiences.
“These are not competencies that emerge automatically,” said Ms Ng, who is also a mother of 2. “They develop through consistent and meaningful experiences in safe and supportive environments.”
Intentionality shapes everything in her K1 classroom. Beyond the mirror at the door, a dedicated safe space gives children room to practise the “Stop-Think-Choose" strategy when emotions run high. Over time, this helps them develop self-regulation skills, focusing on empowering the children and emotional growth over correcting behaviour.
Ms Ng joins a child at her centre’s dedicated safe space, where children can learn to regulate their emotions.
Meanwhile, mixed-level play sessions bring K1 and K2 children together. As they play, they develop social awareness and relationship skills as they negotiate with one another, problem-solve and learn to take turns. They also pick up an understanding and respect for rules and boundaries – not because they are told or instructed, but because they experience them through play.
Ms Ng recalled a child who used to react impulsively during group play and lash out at peers. Through consistent modelling, guided role play, and the Stop-Think-Choose strategy, the child gradually learned to think before reacting. The turning point came during outdoor play, when another child accidentally knocked down his structure. Where he previously might have reacted with anger, he paused and said gently: “It's okay, we can build it again.”
“I was very heartened to see that happening,” Ms Ng said. “I know that he has learned the skill of self-management and how to build relationships with his friends.”
"Play is not simply free time. It is where children negotiate, collaborate, disagree, and problem-solve in real and meaningful ways."
- Ms Amily Ng, Early Childhood Educator, MK @ Dazhong
The right support at the right age
At PCF Sparkletots Preschool @ Ulu Pandan Blk 24, children and educators share a simple daily routine — a minute of quiet sitting, breathing exercises, and a values-based, read aloud story.
This is not just done at the start of the day. It is something the class returns to whenever they need to settle and refocus. “The children cross their legs, breathe, and come back to themselves,” said centre leader Nirmala Thevi d/o Vijayarengan, who has been with the preschool for two decades.
Children and educators at PCF Sparkletots Preschool @ Ulu Pandan Blk 24 take part in a minute of quiet sitting, breathing exercises, and a values-based story read aloud.
Introduced in 2012, this is one way Ms Nirmala has incorporated SED into the preschool’s culture and curriculum. At the heart of her approach is a simple understanding - SED looks different at every stage of a child's development.
For infants and toddlers, it starts with trust and attachment. Educators respond to every cry, recognise every emotion, and make sure no child’s needs go unattended. “Lesson plans can wait,” she said. “Attend to the children's needs first.”
As children grow older, the focus shifts to negotiation, turn-taking, and problem-solving. For instance, children are encouraged to work through conflicts independently before seeking adult intervention.
Ms Nirmala also observed that many parents see SED as good behaviour and compliance. It is common for adults to expect children to self-regulate and manage their emotions much earlier than is developmentally realistic. Through parent workshops and open-door observation sessions, her preschool helps parents better understand this. This way, the strategies children learn in preschool can be reinforced at home.
"Even adults struggle to self-regulate. We cannot expect that of a young child."
- Ms Nirmala Thevi D/O Vijayarengan, Centre Leader, PCF Sparkletots Preschool @ Ulu Pandan Blk 24
Educators at her centre are also guided by the 3Rs philosophy - being Respectful, Responsive and Reciprocal in how they interact with children. “Build relationships with the children first,” she said. “Sit beside them, not above them. Use simple emotion words like 'happy', 'sad', 'scared' and show you are paying attention.”
The impact of strong SED goes far beyond the preschool years. As educators shared, these early social and emotional competencies stay with children for life – shaping their values, character, how they relate to others, handle challenges, and navigate the world around them.
The Dos and Don'ts of Social and Emotional Development
Do:
- Build warm, trusting relationships with children first — everything else follows
- Plan deliberately for SED across all spaces and routines, not just dedicated lessons
- Use consistent language and prompts so children hear the same message everywhere
- Collaborate with families so strategies are reinforced at home
Don't:
- Dismiss or minimise a child’s emotions — always validate before redirecting
- Label, shame, or compare children with their peers
- Expect immediate self-regulation — it is a skill that takes years to develop, even for adults
Check out these resources:
The Early Childhood Development Agency has curated over 100 storybooks for children from birth to six years of age, accompanied by activity plans that bring selected stories to life with learning objectives, step-by-step activities, and guided discussion prompts.
A version of this article was originally published in Early Childhood Development Agency's Beanstalk Portal with the headline “More Than Good Behaviour: Why Social and Emotional Development Matters from Day One"
